Of Christmas and Alien Artifacts
by pixie blue
Summary: Oh dear, another Christmas Megamind story. Well, deal with it. Christmas for Megamind, Minion and Roxanne, with a lot of confusion and gift-giving thrown in for good measure. Hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


A/N: *passes out Megamind plushies wearing Santa hats* Happy Christmas, and a merry New Year, everyone! :P Don't worry, for those who don't celebrate Christmas, the Santa hats are detachable.

Yes, I'm adding to the slew of Christmas Megamind fics. What're you going to do, sue me? Ha! It won't work (probably).

Oh, and I apologise that this isn't an update for Atmosphere. See, I had written some of the next chapter, but then had to put it on my USB because mum was picking us up from dad's… and then I forgot to bring it along. *sweat drop* But I'll be back at dad's the day after Boxing Day, so expect an update then. Think of it as a belated Christmas present. :)

Oh, and I noticed that you see him use his binky as a torch while he's younger and in jail, but you never see it after. I incorporated my own reason for that into the story as well.

Update: Oops. I was wrong about the binky (thank you to Nitpicket for pointing it out to me. :) Well, what are AUs for, right? :P Oh, and because I was in a bit of a rush to publish this on Christmas (I had less than an hour left of Christmas on my end when I did post it), I had to leave out some details I wanted but weren't too crucial, but I've gone back and added them now (most notably, the extended ending). Also, I've actually edited it.

Enough of my ramblings already. Enjoy the one-shot!

.:':. .:':. .:':.

Megamind thrashed around in his slumber, nearly falling off the couch where he slept. The cuffs of his black skinny jeans had ridden up over his ankles and his teal sweater-shirt was rumpled - the outfit mostly due to Roxanne's insistence that he needed something to wear that was more civilian than his array of tight-fitting leather clothes and capes. He had been over at her apartment and had fallen asleep while they were watching a movie together. She had left momentarily to go to the bathroom - though it had taken her quite a while to extricate herself from his embrace. His muscles had seemed to lock around her, and he slept on blissfully unaware through her struggles.

She had returned to find him flopping around like a fish out of water. He seemed to be muttering something over and over under his breath, punctuated with pleas of 'no' and 'it's mine'. Concerned, she reached over to wake him up when his eyes suddenly shot open and sat bolt upright, nearly smacking Roxanne on the forehead with his considerably larger noggin in the process. "My binky!" he cried, eyes glazed with sleep but definitely desperate as he stared straight through her. After a few seconds, they cleared and he blushed at the slightly bemused expression on her face.

"Please forget that ever happened."

"What on earth is a 'binky'?" she asked, ignoring him.

He sighed. "It's not from earth," he said unhappily, turning away from her a little.

Her eyes widened. "You mean… It came with you from your planet?"

A nod was all the answer she received. She studied his face and quickly deduced why he was so sad. "You don't have it anymore, do you?"

"No." He let out a shuddering sigh, then took a deep breath, deciding to tell her the story. "I left my home with only three things - the pod I was escaping in, Minion, and my binky." She quickly sat down next to him, patting his hand comfortingly. It was a rare occasion when he divulged more than just tiny snippet of his past, so she was intent on hearing every word. "Of course, the pod was impounded upon my arrival, and Minion has always been my friend, but never an object. My binky was the last - and only - present my parents had given me.

"The Warden took it a little while after I started school. I think I was about six at the time. I'd already made escape attempts earlier, so naturally they were even more wary of me than they had been in the start - what with me being a blue alien with a giant head and all. When he found it, the Warden figured that I was using it as a tool in my escapes and confiscated it." He sniffled pitifully and his eyes were wet. "I begged him not to take it, tried to explain how much it meant to me, but he took it as me making excuses so I could keep it and use it to make more escapes. Not that didn't without it." He smirked a little but his expression turned melancholy again. "I never saw it even once after that."

Roxanne felt herself tearing up a little. "Of course, I understood why he did it," he continued. "If I were him, I wouldn't have let such an incredible genius as myself keep an alien artifact with unknown uses. I was just… angry at the time. It meant a lot to me, and for him to just _take_ it... Let's just say I earned myself two months in solitary."

Ever the aspiring optimist, she asked, "Well, now that you're the city's hero, don't you think he'd be fine in giving it back?"

He gave her a dubious look. "Somehow, I doubt he would have kept an alien device that could have exploded on him for all he knew."

Roxanne felt herself deflate. "Yeah, you have a point."

The mood in the room dropped, and the silence grew awkward. She'd never been one for awkward silences. Trying to bolster his spirits, she asked, "So, do you and Minion want to have Christmas up here? Or do you want it down at the lab? Though I have to admit, it would be interesting to see the lab all decked out for Christmas." She sniggered.

"Chris moose? Who is this Chris? Why do they have a moose?"

She laughed disbelievingly. "_Christmas_, silly. Don't tell me you've never heard of it."

"It sounds vaguely familiar…?" The way he said it was more like a question.

Rolling her eyes, she quickly explained. "Well, because of consumerism, it isn't really what it used to be about anymore, but nowadays, it's basically a holiday on December the 25th where people put up Christmas decorations around their houses and exchange gifts. For little kids, the story is that Santa Claus brings the presents."

"Ah… so that is the purpose of all those evergreen trees adorned with various glittering objects," he mused, his eyes shining with wonder. "I never really understood what that was all about. And that's why people wish each other 'Merry Chris-moose' on that day, yes?"

"_Christmas_. And yes."

"Merry Chris-moose, Roxanne!" He beamed happily. She rolled her eyes; this would be another pronunciation that would stick forever.

"It's not Christmas yet! It's on the 25th, still a few days away."

He still looked a little troubled. "Who is this Sander Claws, though? He sounds an unsavoury character."

"_Santa Claus_. You'll have seen him around. Big white beard, bigger belly, dressed in red?"

"Oh, him! But why are there so many of him? Does he have clones, or have other people stolen his identity?"

Her laughter rang out. "Of course not! The real Santa Claus died years ago. People dress up like him in the spirit of the season." She considered explaining the concept of getting a photo taken with Santa Claus, but decided she didn't want to be there for another hour.

"And he gives presents to little children?"

She nodded, also deciding that it would be too complicated to explain why parents would buy their children presents and then tell them they were from Santa.

"What do adults do?"

"They give each other presents."

His eyes suddenly went wide. "But I haven't gotten you a present yet!" He started fretting, biting his fingernails and pacing.

"Whoa, calm down! Like I said, still a few days away. I'm sure you can figure something out in that time. And you might want to tell Minion about it. I have a feeling he'll love Christmas."

He smiled a little sheepishly. "That reminds me, I probably should tell him where I am. I didn't tell him I was staying overnight, seeing how that just… happened. He might assume I'm still here, but then again, might worry that I was in an accident with the invisible car or something."

She glanced at the clock. "Oh no, I'm going to be late for work!" Suddenly, she was a frantic whirlwind of action. He quickly placed a kiss on her cheek before she rushed around the apartment again.

"Have a nice day, Roxie!"

"You too!" she called from somewhere in the apartment. He picked up his leather jacket from where he had draped it the evening before - it had been their compromise for his 'civilian' outfit - and quietly let himself out.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

"Sir I was so worried! Why didn't you call me? That's why Miss Ritchie wanted you to get a mobile phone, after all, so you can call people when you need to! You have no idea the sorts of thoughts I agonised myself with - you getting drowned under a crowd of fans, you getting attacked by an aspiring super villain, you dead at the wheel of the invisible car because you were in an accident-" Megamind couldn't help but smirk at this one. "-You and Miss Ritchie being held at gunpoint by some ninjas intent on robbing you-"

Megamind cut him off. "Well, one, those things evidently did not happen, seeing as I am here, and two, that last one didn't even make sense."

The fish held up an accusatory robotic finger. "It is possible."

"Of course it is, Minion." He patted one of the gorilla forearms. "But, more importantly, I have discovered this fantastic holiday called Chris-moose! You decorate trees and houses with random sparkling trinkets, and a fat old man gives little children presents whilst the adults exchange gifts with one another!" He was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

Minion, for his part, just looked worried. "Sir, you've been out in the cold too long. I think you've come down with something."

"Minion, I'm fine. I'm being serious! You know humans, their holidays and customs are strange at best."

He still looked a bit doubtful. "I guess…"

"Which reminds me, I need to get a gift for Roxanne, and one for you too."

At the prospect of getting a gift, Minion perked up. "I get presents too?"

"Of course! Though you do still need to get one for me and Roxanne. We're all going to have Chris-moose together!"

"So what do you want me to get you, sir?"

He looked unsure. "I think the gifts are supposed to be a surprise. Though I'm not sure what to get Roxanne. What do you think she'd like?"

Minion looked philosophical. "I think she'd like something you made yourself."

"Really?" He seemed pleased. "I'm a genius at making things."

"That you are, sir. I'm sure whatever it is will be splendid."

.:':. .:':. .:':.

It was only due to the immaculate planning of Minion - and Megamind, though to a lesser extent - that they managed to have all the Christmas preparations in the lair ready on time, though in the end it was decided that Roxanne's apartment was a more suitable environment for celebration. Still, she got a kick out of seeing all the baubles, angels and tinsel artfully arranged around the lab's interior. Even the brainbots had little Santa hats on.

Minion had also taken charge of the food preparations, and by the time they were finished with the meal they were completely full. "Oh, Minion, that was so good."

"Thank you, Miss Ritchie." He beamed happily at the praise.

"Is it present time yet?" Megamind was almost quivering with excitement.

Roxanne glanced slyly at Minion. "I don't know… I'm kinda tired, actually. I think they can wait 'til tomorrow, don't you, Minion?" The fish nodded vigorously, smothering a grin.

Megamind's eyes went wide and his lips trembled. "B-but…"

After seeing his expression, Roxanne and Minion couldn't help themselves. They burst out laughing. "Oh yes. I see. Ha ha ha, I cannot contain my hilarity." His now deadpan expression made them laugh even harder. Eventually, they calmed down. Minion wiped an imaginary tear from his eye - or the front of his bowl, which was as close as he could get to his eye.

"All right, let go open presents!" Megamind clapped with glee, rushing ahead and sitting in front of the Christmas tree.

From Roxanne to Minion, a new set of aprons, all with various slogans.

"They're perfect, Miss Ritchie! Especially since my other one disappeared." Megamind looked around innocently.

From Megamind to Minion, a small, nondescript piece of metal.

Minion's jaw dropped. "No. Way. This is the best ever, sir!"

Roxanne was puzzled by his reaction to the seemingly mundane gift before Megamind explained smugly, "It's the power key for a new robot suit. This one has an automatic food dispenser and an waterproof massage chair."

"I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it."

From Minion to Roxanne, a beautifully decorated binder.

"It's gorgeous. Did you make it yourself?"

He nodded proudly, surreptitiously nudging Megamind in the ribs. Megamind rolled his eyes - he had made his present for Roxanne too. "You wouldn't expect robotic fingers to be able to handle such delicate work, but sir's the genius that came up with them." He waggled said fingers for effect.

From Megamind to Roxanne, a necklace intertwined with various pieces of metal, carefully twisted into the shape of a heart.

She was speechless. "I made it using parts from the machines I used the first time I kidnapped you," he told her softly.

Minion made mushy eyes and sighed. "That's so romantic, sir."

Roxanne grabbed the front of Megamind's shirt and dragged him in for a kiss. He smiled against her lips. "This is a gift enough."

Eventually, he pulled back and opened Minion's present. "Ooh, I've been needing that component for a while, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Where'd you get it?"

"That store in Romania."

His eyebrows rose. "Wow."

Roxanne pushed over her present. "I think you'll like this one," she smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

He carefully peeled off the wrapping paper. She rolled her eyes. "Just rip it, Megamind!"

Obligingly, he tore at the paper, then gasped at the small object that fell out. "My… my binky!"

Minion's jaw actually hit the bottom of his tank.

The blue villain-turned-hero looked at her in wonder. "But… How?"

She smiled. "The Warden didn't destroy it. I asked him about it, and he gave it to me. He also said he hopes you have a good Christmas. That you deserve it."

"I don't believe it. Merry Chris-moose," he said dazedly, shaking his head.

Roxanne laughed. "Merry Christmas."

"Wait, one more thing." He picked up the binky and inched it towards Roxanne's necklace. "I'm not sure if this'll work, but I can still try..." The small blue device touched the metal, but nothing happened. Megamind sat back, disappointed, but then suddenly the necklace was lit from within with blue light. Barely visible before, small gaps inbetween the pieces of metal formed and interlocked 'M' and 'R'. "That charge should last about a week, I'm not sure." he told her.

Without warning, she launched herself at him and kissed him with vigour.

"Uh... I'll... go clear the table then, shall I?" Minion quickly excused himself from the room to give the two of them some time alone.

.:':. .:':. .:':.

A/N: *yawns* I was up later than I should be finishing this.

Yes, I wrote it all on Christmas. (With the exception of the few bits I added on Boxing Day.)

Yes, I have no life.

Yes, I will update Atmosphere ASAP. (Although I warn you now, I'm helping with the Boxing Day sales down at mum's work tomorrow, so I'll probably be more than a little dead.)


End file.
